Married people sometimes find themselves in the unfortunate position of feeling that they must step out of the relationship.
You may wish for a divorce but financial reasons, your kids or other issues may keep you from making that decision.
You may still love your spouse but miss the sexual spark that you two may have lost over the years.
There are many who would judge you but this is a choice that only you can make. If you do so, you need to consider the following 10 tips for being safe, not getting caught and having fun.
1. Always use protection
Condoms, birth control and every other precaution must be taken. You do not want to spread a disease to your spouse or have an unplanned pregnancy to explain. Use extreme caution in protecting yourself.
2. Don’t fall in love
You are a married person and, though it may be tempting, you cannot fall in love. If you are unable to divorce then your new girlfriend or boyfriend will simply end up devastated. Truthfully, you will too. Keep your heart protected by keeping it casual and fun.
- Never meet at your home. Not ever. Not just once. Not in the driveway. Not if your spouse is out of town. Never. It is much too risky.
- Keep your kids out of it
Your kids are not asking for any of this. They need to be shielded from the choices that you make. You don’t want to ask them to lie or to put them in the position of feeling torn between yourself and their other parent.
3. Don’t tell your friends or family
This makes it easier on everyone. Don’t tell people who will then be forced to keep your secret. Plus, if they get mad at you, you could end up regretting that they have “dirt” on you.
4. Be discrete
Discretion means no public make out sessions, no extravagant dinners at the fanciest restaurant in town. Don’t call attention to yourself. Stay off of the beaten path and keep your distance physically while out and about.
5. Never have an affair with a coworker or friend
If you are going to date while married you should never ever date someone that you know from another aspect of your life. It is too risky and will come back to bite you when mutual friends or other acquaintances start to make the connection.
6. Be careful about phone calls, text messages, bank charges, etc.
Be careful with your phone records and any charges that you might make on debit or credit cards. Some people get a second phone or credit card that their spouse doesn’t know about and though that may seem like a great idea it can also serve as evidence if found. The best thing to do is to keep your “paper trail” as minimal as possible.
7. Keep lies simple
Elaborate lies full of details tend to unravel quickly. They are hard to remember and can be easily picked apart by a suspicious husband or wife.
8. Get rid of evidence
Never, ever keep anything that is associated with your affair. Not in your office. Not in your car. Certainly not in your house. That means no letters, notes, cards, clothes or other items. It just isn’t worth it to keep a memento if that memento could ruin everything for you.
There are those that would think that what you are doing is wrong. However, the truth is, only you know what is wrong and what is right for you and for your family. If you can’t or won’t leave your spouse then be cautious and careful and PLEASE use protection for the sake of the people you love.